Cool Girl Guide

I am again partnering up with one of my favorite girls, @natalieandaddy from Tik Tok! They made a great post about what we will be discussing here. Today, we are going over a simple guide to being that Cool Girl that we all adore and love and are most of the time wondering how they hold their shit together so well. When I think of a cool girl, I think about a mysterious and unknown woman who always has a stylish outfit, and even in sweats she looks more put together than I do on a good day. There are some basic key points to this aesthetic that we’ll be going over. This includes the way she holds herself, the way she keeps her life private, and she puts herself first. I don’t want to leave you all wondering, so let’s get started.

Let’s keep this simple, we’re going to start by talking about what you do and what you don’t know about the Cool Girl. Have you ever heard about how she spends hours scrolling through Tik Tok? Or what about that rumor she spread? Oh wait. She doesn’t talk about that, or spread rumors. Because cool girls don’t do that. The Cool Girl keeps her life private, doesn’t involve herself in drama, and works on her own time. Let me break it down a little more. I can say this out of experience, there have been a few times that I’ve been known to overshare. This includes making a joke about my family to someone I don’t know that well. That is something she wouldn’t do. She doesn’t feel the need to bring her personal and intimate life details into random conversations! She keeps her private life… Well, private. It is very demure of her to do so. Staying on the topic of talking to the Cool Girl, you aren’t going to hear her talking shit about another gal. You aren’t going to hear her spreading a rumor she heard about the day before. She is classy! Very classy and collected. She finds it unnecessary to discuss other people’s lives because… What’s it to her? Lastly, you will come to find that this girl is going to take hours to respond, if not 1-2 business days. Not because she doesn’t have any care for her friends, but just because she doesn’t spend her time worrying about her plans for Friday night. She isn’t using the alone time she has on Snapchat, she’s spending her time alone, being alone! The Cool Girl is reading, writing, tapping into her creative side. To recap, she is private and happy to take some time for herself.

Alrighty, next! This is where we discuss self-control. Controlling your emotions, staying kind and polite, and taking your personal space. See how these can go hand and hand with the last topic of privacy. Well, I guess we’ll start with probably to the toughest one, controlling your emotions. This one can be difficult, because to reflect and then react takes a lot of consciousness. This doesn’t only help give you this mysterious aura, but it will benefit most sticky situations your in. It saves an unnecessary argument from time to time, and gives you a clear mind. Self-control also includes being kind to people. You won’t catch the Cool Girl snubbing someone or acting like a “Karen.” You’ll find her using manners everywhere, being kind and interested with a waitress, and always leaving a tip. She’s the kind of girl that after a barista talks to her, they write their Instagram on the cup. Does that make sense? This really ties into the way she keeps herself uninvolved in drama. She doesn’t find the need, or even desire to tear other people down for the fun of it. She is confident enough in herself, she isn’t scared to compliment someone’s skirt, and not pull a Regina George. More proof to this, when was the last time someone was rude or snarky to you and you thought, “Wow. They are such a cool girl.” Never. Unless it was said sarcastically, then I understand. The last part of self-control really brings everything together and possible. The Cool Girl loves her personal space. Without her taking her personal space, she wouldn’t be able to take time to reflect on how she’s feeling, and she wouldn’t be confident enough to be openly kind. I know I said this in the last section, but when she’s taking personal space, she’s spending it alone. I mean truly alone, not online, not face timing, or sending videos to her friends the whole time (like I have a tendency to do), she is alone.

Lastly. Personal value. Personal value doesn’t just mean holding yourself to whatever standards you have, but it means to be educated, confident, and taking time for some self-care. To begin, education. Being educated is such a hot and cool girl thing to do. You don’t have to know every word in the English Dictionary, but taking time to build your knowledge on current events or reading a book to build your vocabulary will help you in every conversation. This will also help with your confidence, I mean really. If you know what you’re saying, what is there to worry about? So, that brings us into the confidence factor of personal value. Walking around with confidence (like I mentioned prior) gives you the capability to compliment others, not overthink or stress about the shoes you decided to wear, and will improve your self-love. Why wouldn’t you want that? How to gain that level of confidence? Well, easy answer. Self-care. Take time to love your imperfections. Take time to write your daily gratitude. Doing a face mask once a week, or getting your nails done all make you feel more confident. The more time you put effort into yourself one day, the more confident you’ll be the next.

Whether you’re following the Cool Girl Guide, or not. You’ll find that building a habit out of being kind, honest, self-loving, and educated will make your life easier. I think. Like always, stay tuned for the next article.