Sweet Tea and Sour Friends

It’s funny how small towns have a way of making you feel like you know everyone, and then just as quickly, you realize you don’t know anyone at all. Months ago, I packed up my bags and left for a bigger adventure. As the weeks passed, I started to realize there was something I had left behind that wasn’t so easy to escape. You know the ones who pretend to be there for you when it suits them, but then you ask for some support and… crickets. Let’s get into the juicy stories and a little bit of truth-telling.

It’s not that I was surprised by the fake friends. Honestly, I’d had a few suspicions over the years. but I guess I just thought, “Maybe they’ll change. Maybe this time they’ll finally be happy for me.” But the truth is, small towns are breeding grounds for two things: gossip and competition. You’d think that as a grown-up, people would outgrow the petty games, but nope. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but as I left behind the familiar faces of my small town, I was shedding more than just the people. I was shedding the expectations- of having to be someone for everyone, of fitting into molds that were never mine to begin with. But as I started building a life in a new city, I also started to just see how fake those “friends” back home really were.

You know the ones- the “friend” who promises they’ll always have your back. but the second you’re not around, they’re sharing your business with anyone who will listen. Or the one who pretends to be so happy for you when you get a promotion, but can’t seem to stop throwing passive-aggressive comments your way. Or the “best friend” who’s never too busy to hang out… unless it doesn’t involve drinks.

The truth is, there’s an unspoken competition that runs deep in small towns. It’s a quiet kind of jealousy that often masquerades as “concern.” The moment you start thriving, someone’s got to pull you down, if only to keep themselves feeling better about their own stagnant lives. Maybe they don’t even mean to do it. Maybe it’s just the way it’s always been. But when you’re someone who’s trying to change, trying to grow, that kind of energy just doesn't work for me anymore.

I can’t tell you how many times I caught myself smiling through a conversation, pretending everything was fine, when in reality, I could feel the undertones of insincerity. It’s funny how quickly the people who surrounded you with support disappear when you don’t fit their idea of what you should be anymore.

And you know what? It felt good.

What they say about leaving home to find yourself? It’s not just about a new place- it’s about shedding the old expectations, the old roles, and the old people who only want to keep you in a box you never fit in to begin with. It’s about realizing that the friends who matter aren’t the ones who show up for your party- they’re the ones who show up for your real life. They’re the ones who show up when it’s messy, when you’re not your best self, and especially when you’re chasing your next big dream, even if they don’t quite understand it.

The fake friends? They’ll be there too. Because small towns are full of them. But the real ones- the ones who genuinely want to see you succeed along the way- they’re the ones who will keep you grounded. They’re the ones who will celebrate you, not tear you down.

So now, when I look back, I don’t miss those “friends.” What I miss is the illusion. The idea that people who grew up with me, who I thought would always have my back, would still be rooting for me after all these years. But the thing is, when you leave, you make room for people who do have your back. The ones who see you for exactly who you are and cheer for the real you- not just one version of you.

Do I regret leaving? Not really.

As for the fake friends still hanging around in my hometown? Well, I like to think they’re all stuck in that little town gossip circle, while I’m here living my own version of the dream- no filters, no fakes, just the freedom to be me.

So here’s to leaving, to shedding the fake, and to finally making room for the real friends who never need to compete with your light. And if you’re lucky enough, those are the ones who will always have your back. No matter how far you’re calling from.